But, if my daughter’s phone just happens to be laying on the table, and I see she’s gotten a text, I might take a look at it.
So be sure you’re comfortable with me seeing what you’re sending.
Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my Daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home.
Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight.
You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.
If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Believe me, good manners will help you get on her good side, and mine too.
Sure my daughter is fun, but she’s also a student, and in our house, school comes before fun.
However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.That means she won’t be going with you to the mall, the movies or out to dinner on a school night.No, I won’t hide in the backseat or stalk you when you’re with my daughter, but she and I have an agreement that she checks in often with home, and lets me know where she is and where she’s going.Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, you may think we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on his subject is "early."Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls.This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.When you get to know our daughter, you’ll get to know us too.