I am 30 years old, relatively successful in my current career track, intelligent, attractive, easy to talk to, and very friendly. None of my girl friends believe me when I inform them of this fact. I’ve asked them when we’re out with guys if I’m giving off some sort of lesbian or “don’t come near me! I’m very good friends now with someone whom I would love to date, but I’m afraid I’ve already fallen into the “friend zone” with him.I seem to be able to get along with absolutely everybody and make others feel at ease. I have tried online dating too, by the way, and that didn’t go well.dysmorphic disorder is, as I define it, a psychological disorder in which the affected person is excessively concerned about and preoccupied by a perceived defect in his or her ability to attract a mate and sustain a relationship. Surely, you have a dear friend who has been privy to your relationship woes. Let me be clear: you are not asking your friend why she thinks men aren’t attracted to you; you’re asking her why she thinks you haven’t had luck in your search for a date. While you have the help and support of a good friend, I’d suggest you fire up on the ol’ online profile again.The idea of RDD is that the affected person thinks she is defected when it comes to relationships (and should join a convent), while people who know her can’t understand where in the world these thoughts come from. Well, to start with, I’d suggest therapy to get to the root of where these negative thoughts stem from. You say your initial foray into online dating “didn’t go well,” but what does that mean?Did you cast a wide enough net, or were you limiting your search to handsome 33-year-old MDs with Doberman Pinschers? Maybe you aren’t presenting yourself in the best light or making it easy for men to find you (for example, not posting a picture of yourself is a sure way to limit the amount of attention you attract online).
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at I saw an article the other day about “what his romantic past says about him,” and it echoed some of the concerns I have about the history of the guy I’ve been seeing for a couple of months (let’s call him “Mark”).If a guy is over 40, never married (though may have come close and been in some multi-year relationships), but seems to have been through many many relationships over the years, what are the chances he’s capable of maintaining a healthy long-term relationship that could lead to marriage? Has he just not found the right one, or at this point is it likely he never will?I, of course, don’t know all the details, but Mark is definitely a serial monogamist, possibly hasn’t spent much time being single, and has been with a fair number of women who behaved badly/questionably in various ways.Does that mean you’re unable to have a long-lasting relationship that could potentially lead to marriage?And if you had a relationship that has led to marriage, you’re clearly no longer married, so does that mean you lack the ability to make a marriage succeed?I simply don’t believe that a 30-year-old woman who is everything you say you are would have as much trouble finding a date as you have without taking some active role in her situation.