Has this led to me finding a guy who can hold his own in a relationship? But it has made me happier and more confident in myself—confident enough never to settle for someone who isn't..action_button.action_button:active.action_button:hover.action_button:focus.action_button:hover.action_button:focus .count.action_button:hover .count.action_button:focus .count:before.action_button:hover .count:before.u-margin-top--lg.u-margin-left--sm.u-flex.u-flex-auto.u-flex-none.bullet. The night we met, he grabbed my hand and told me my name was beautiful. One was recurring: He had recently lost his job, he said, and felt wrong trying to date a woman like me until he had enough money to “come correct”—take charge, foot the bill, feel like a man.My heart jumped a little, and I’m not even into corny stuff like that. I didn’t realize it at the time, but he was actually exactly my type. Content Wrapper:after.hidden.normal.grid_page.grid_page:before,.grid_page:after.grid_page:after.grid_page h3.grid_page h3 a.grid_page h3 a:hover.grid_page h3 a.action_button.grid_page h3 a.action_button:active.grid_page h3 a.action_button:hover.grid_page h3 a.action_button:not(.fake_disabled):hover.grid_page h3 a.action_button:not(.fake_disabled):focus.grid_pagediv. Error Banner.fade_out.modal_overlay.modal_overlay .modal_wrapper.modal_overlay [email protected](max-width:630px)@media(max-width:630px).modal_overlay .modal_fixed_close.modal_overlay .modal_fixed_close:before.modal_overlay .modal_fixed_close:before.modal_overlay .modal_fixed_close:before.modal_overlay .modal_fixed_close:hover:before.
I cut him slack for his insecurity, and he used every inch: He was mysterious, unreliable, withdrawn.This wasn’t just a slap in the face: It was a wake-up call.My bigger problem was not this man’s insecurity, but my own.”) and finally, passive-aggressive digs (“Why is it that I seem to be acutely aware of your success? Despite the vigor with which he was waving his red flags, I put my professional feminism to work in locating a political justification for his behavior.Unfair standards of masculinity, I told myself, put undue pressure on men to be “men.” As a feminist, I recognized that when men don’t act man enough, their girlfriends, friends, and families can disapprove. And those unrealistic expectations of manhood are only exacerbated by a broken economy. Obscured by my righteous political justification was a far less feminist lining—the kind where he hurts me, and I let him.Our whole culture remains wedded to an outdated idea of gender relations that stacks the deck against our happiness. He was now employed, he said, and was interested in reconnecting.