I tell you this story because we’re going to use it as a jumping off point for some advice and for some follow up questions.
First, a question — have you ever had a conversation like this with your grandmother?
I’m assuming not, because I’m assuming the anecdote would’ve been in your question.
But it is worth noting that, if you have, my answer would probably change a bit.
Or, “well he was that way.” Talk to my mother about it, and she says, when she was growing up, the telltale sign was a very Catholic woman, married, with only one child.
Gay people were a part of your grandmother’s world, too.
Then you have to weigh things out — what’s heavier, the possibility that it’ll be a big hairy deal, or the possible joy you’ll feel at your grandmother being at your wedding? Whichever is, that’s what you should pick if your grandmother has given you cause for concern.
I feel like that might make coming out to her easier— you’re not springing something on her that she hasn’t heard about all through her life.
It’s not like introducing her to an xbox or virtual reality or the phrase YOLO.
I honestly think SHE HAS NO CLUE and I believe she’s at that age where her beliefs are basically set in stone. First, I’m getting married to the love of my life too. “We didn’t used to have to know about it.” Her eyebrows were all slanty-angry and she shuddered. I’m sure you’ll comfort me that way because you’re a good person.
I mean I don’t think my grandma would judge me or say something bad but there’s still a real possibility she could. We’re planning our wedding right now, and everyone in my family is (so far, and as far as I know) okay with this. But there are two things you need to know about my grandmother: a) she was mean and b) she probably did know.
She might have a few questions, she might get the language wrong, but she’s almost definitely seen a gay person before, or at least heard about them. The sort of family that loves to share the good stuff, but generally suffers through the bad stuff alone or with one or two close humans?