Like everything else in your life, you will bring a level of energy and mastery and compassion to sex. You may believe that women are only interested in massively muscled guys with a certain swooping hairstyle.Or you may think women are only interested in guys who have money, or are established in their careers, or are great with kids. The wonderful truth is that different women are interested in vastly different things, and attracted to a broad range of qualities in a man.One of the most wonderful things about men is their ability to take care of business: to focus on what needs to get done to the exclusion of everything else, Everyone has their own life path. A guy can get a new job, get super focused, and next thing you know two years have gone by without sex, and not for want of desire.Give yourself credit for all of your great accomplishments, and remember that sex is a magical alchemy that requires certain specific circumstances, many outside of your control.Right now it feels like sex is a ridiculously big deal, I understand that.But the more you allow yourself to see it as just another act, another way to express energies and emotions that you are already expressing meaningfully via other outlets, the less power it will have over you.Otherwise, you’re going to have to surrender to this process. Sometimes the universe takes a while to introduce that great person to us … Trust that this great person is out there, that you are good enough to attract them, and be patient.When you do meet someone great, let yourself trust her. Don’t worry that you may not be great in bed the first time.
Ask a female friend for help in how to present yourself if you’re not confident in attracting an NSA partner. If you’re waiting for something more meaningful, acknowledge that. I think that waiting for a great person is an excellent reason for putting off sex, and one that many women will find very attractive as it indicates depth of spirit and emotional self awareness.
So that when you have sex, it’s going to be with a woman so incredible that the average guy couldn’t hope to hold her interest.
Being a virgin into adulthood—or going years without sex—is normal, especially among truly great, sweet, wonderful, sexy men who eventually make incredible boyfriends and even better sexual partners. Remember, though; a guy who goes through a promiscuous phase may feel shame about that, too.
The women who are attracted to skinny, quirky, unfashionable guys won’t be able to find you if you pretend to be something else. Highly sexual man beasts like Ryan Gosling are worshiped in women’s magazines.
Meanwhile, sexual violence against women has never had so much attention, and many men are loathe to be assertive about their attraction, lest they be labeled sexual harassers, or scare a woman they care about.
The truth is, great, eligible, sexy guys staying virgins into adulthood is a growing trend, a new normal. You want to have sex, but you don’t want to scare women away by coming on too strong.