You’re just seeing what he’s doing online and that information is freely available to the world.Your motivations for checking up on this are worth looking at, though, because it gives me the feeling that either something inside you feels like you don’t quite trust this guy or that you don’t trust the relationship you’re in to have trust as a quality (and so you’re always checking and testing because you don’t have that trust to begin with…A problem with suspicion and snooping is: the more you fear and suspect, the more that fear and suspicion eats away at you and creates more fears and suspicions!This creates a vicious cycle that destroys trust in the relationship and ultimately causes a problem where there was none. You have to remember that you don’t know his full story yet.It’s reasonable to interpret that as meaning you’ve agreed to not date anyone or sleep with anyone else, but I want to ask: when you agreed to be exclusive, how did this come about?How clear was his side of the agreement to being committed?Now to keep that in perspective, I also say it’s in your best interest to do and be everything you can in order to make the kind of men you desire to really to commit to you. When both people really want a great relationship, the relationship feels effortless.That is not to say that no effort goes into the relationship – my statement is that the work that the relationship takes doesn’t feel like effort… a meaningful contribution to something worthy, fulfilling and great.
This is thanks, in part, to your excellent comments and questions from the audience.
Only you can decide if what you learn convinces you to keep participating in the relationship or not.
I said earlier that it’s worth looking into your own sense of trust in relationships since our internal relationship with trust can have a large impact in our relationships… You will never, ever know what the other person is doing at all times.
this is separate, but I want to address it for your sake in general).
If I were in your shoes, I would say something along the lines of: “Hey listen…
Something in me made me curious and I looked at your Match profile and saw you’d logged on recently after we said we’d be exclusive. I’m not here to ‘catch you’ or worry about what you may or may not be up to…