You may not be dating or father material, but she may not want either of those things at the moment. You just have to approach it in a different manner.
For many of my readers who are in their 30s or 40s, this idea can actually be more attractive than the thought of starting from scratch, going through pregnancies, diapers, screaming, and sleepless nights.
Just don’t make assumptions and tread slowly and carefully.
If you have a check list of attributes you seek in a potential partner and one of them is that they be child-free, you’re denying yourself access to a pool of wonderful men for no good reason.
Instead, say to her “So I was thinking about what to do this weekend, and what about after you feed Katy her breakfast and the sitter comes over, we go to the State Fair for the day?
We could go on some rides, take pictures of the animals to show Katy later, eat a lot, and play some games.
Over the years, I’ve dated a few women who had children (technically, I’m dating one now as my wife just gave birth to my daughter!
), and, while it can be a great experience, it’s a whole different bag than dating a childless woman. Kid just coated themselves (and the walls) with Mommy’s makeup. Her high-schooler just got caught sneaking out of the house. Having a child is like navigating portions of calm in between storms of activity.
But that’s not what she’s looking for at the moment.And, believe it or not, she could just be entering a more independent phase of motherhood where she can leave the baby with a sitter and is looking to have some personal time with a hot guy.She might just even be using you as she’s not had a sexual experience since before the baby was born. There’s a complex called the Virgin/Whore Dichotomy that can affect guys.This isn’t to say that you’ll be pushed to the side, but your ego has to be strong enough to be able to share her attention. How you deal with these interruptions will endear you more to her than even the date may have!Don’t ever put her in a position where it’s “me or the kid.” Even one of my fellow female dating coaches started dating a guy with a kid and then complained to me that the kid always got precedence over her. Maybe you met her out with the kid, or maybe you only know the kid through social media pictures.It can be devastating for children to meet and get to know people who enter their mother’s life and then leave with no real explanation. At the same time, if you’ve been dating for months, are serious, and still haven’t met the kid, you can bring it up by saying you would like to.